All the anticipation for I Day erupted into the day itself and the Parade of Firsts (which will likely be followed in four years by the Parade of Lasts) began.
For many, it was the first Independence Day without their Mid and that will lead to many having their first summer vacation without their Mid. The first week of Plebe Summer is already in the books (yep, you’re more than 16% of the way through it) which means the first letters will arrive soon followed by the first phone call.
One of the toughest parts about Plebe Summer (and I can attest the same is true for BCT at USAFA and friends have shared it’s the same at West Point) is the total lack of contact. No texts, no phone calls, just radio silence, which heightens the anticipation for that first contact, and subsequent connections if we’re being honest.
Most parents are obsessing on Waldo Hunting, scouring photo galleries for even a glimpse of their son or daughter. While all of the photos reflect the Plebe experience, they should not be mistaken for a summary of your Plebe’s feelings. Everything parents get during Plebe Summer is simply a snapshot in time and the corollary is that none of those interactions determines your Plebe’s USNA experience.
If you’re Waldo Hunting produces a stream of smiles, enjoy it. Your first letter could be a massive downer and your first phone call may induce tears … for you and your Plebe. You may find a bunch of photos filled with grimaces, your mail might be filled with patter, your call may go smoothly. None of it predicts how it will all end up. You know those “How It Started/How It’s Going” things? When it starts with Plebe Summer, it’s amazing the way How It’s Going can end up.
Let me share the absolute best example. Recruited basketball player Grant Vermeer had a difficult Plebe Summer, so when it came time to write that first letter – the Detailers will make sure every Plebe does so – he couldn’t hold back. This is what he sent:
So, yeah, that first letter can be jarring. Many people know this story ended quite happily. Grant went on to have a great four years, becoming Brigade Commander and starting a website called Academy Insider, which provided valuable insight to a number of classes before he shut it down soon after commissioning. He became a cyber officer and recently left the Navy to pursue other opportunities. So, the photo shows how it started and how’s it going? Quite well.
BTW, some Plebes will placate the Detailers by stuffing a blank piece of paper into an envelope, using the time allotted to writing a letter to more pressing issues, usually sleep.
Our first week or so of Waldo Hunting produced mixed results, which in the wake of our gut-wrenching I Day experience was probably more than we should have hoped for. When that first envelope arrived, a wave of joy and excitement washed over me – he wrote! But I hesitated before opening it. Maybe things had gotten worse. I had talked him off the ledge on I Day but had a week or so of non-stop physical, emotional, and mental challenges finally broken him?
I don’t even have to look at the letter to recall the first line: “I’d be lying to you if I said I was enjoying this.” The rest of the letter was grim but not desperate. Among the tidbits of what he was doing were three simple requests – keep writing (we wrote him A LOT), keep praying, and send some pictures for his corkboard (pictures of “anything but here.”). The first call was similar.
The lesson is simple – there’s no way your Plebe can relay everything they’ve gone through, so it’s all just that moment. And one thing I’ve learned over seven years as an academy parent is that you are often the one and only outlet for them to voice their frustration. As I’ve written before, you are something of an emotional dumpster. They can’t dump on the Detailers and their fellow Plebes have their own emotional baggage to unload. So guess what? You’re it.
Communication during Plebe Summer is a consistent reinforcement of the key lesson of your time as a USNA parent – your experience is the right experience. Again, some parents will flood Facebook with pictures of their Plebe smiling ear-to-ear, thumbs up and share that each phone call and each letter overflows with “I’m in the right place, this is awesome.” Again, if that’s you, enjoy. But if your experience is the opposite or somewhere in between, relax. It’s not a competition.
I found it best to follow some of the advice I gave my own Plebe: The days are overwhelming, so don’t worry about getting through the day. Focus on the task at hand. Take it one hour at a time. If that’s still too much, take it minute by minute.
The best allegory I’ve heard (and used) is that we are NOT all in the same boat. We are all in the same storm. Some cruise along comfortably as if they are aboard a massive luxury liner. Some are in sturdy boats mildly bothered by the storm while others struggle along in canoes or dinghies. Then there are those who are clinging to a piece of driftwood just trying to keep their head above water.
Whatever your mode of transportation through the storm that is Plebe Summer, you’re not alone. Whatever that first letter or phone call contains is exactly what it should contain because your experience is the right experience.
My Kid The Mid 